


same room, but worlds away

by mrswinchester67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, after s10ep17, extra scene so to speak, grace fic, inside man - Freeform, kind of coda fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 14:42:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3854536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrswinchester67/pseuds/mrswinchester67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas and Sam come into ownership of something that can cure Dean of the mark. but at what costs?<br/>this fic is kind of a coda after "Inside Man", s10ep17. I like to think this is what happened after Sam and Cas get done sneaking around with Metatron.  i really enjoy any comments or criticisms you may have for me after reading any fic i post! I strive to become better with every fic and it helps me out tremendously :P hope you enjoy!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	same room, but worlds away

**Author's Note:**

> i know this is kind of late, but i got the idea at like 3am after s10ep17 aired and it wouldnt let me sleep until i wrote atleast most of it down. I just now was able to sit down and do a proper edit. this is also unbeta'd and any mistakes are my own! (also i do not own any of these characters or storylines obviously. or itd be canon!)

Dean was on a break from researching and was leaning up against the counter in the kitchen waiting for his coffee to finish brewing when he heard the sound of Castiel’s car pulling up. He didn’t know why Cas would be stopping by so he went to meet him at the door. When Dean opened the door, Cas was still by his car door, brushing out a couple wrinkles in his coat and looked up, startled, when Dean spoke.  
“Well to what pleasure do I owe this visit,” Dean asked lightheartedly. He crossed his arms and leaned into the door frame. Cas smiled.  
“I’ve actually come bearing good news,” he said as he walked over to the bunker.  
“Awesome. It’s been a while since I’ve heard some good news,” Dean said as he turned and took a step in the bunker while holding the door open for him. Cas nodded and stepped inside.  
“Well as you know, I’ve been looking everywhere for a cure for the mark,” Castiel said as he followed Dean into the kitchen. “well, I might have found one.”  
Dean pulled out his fresh pot of coffee and poured a mug as he spoke, “Sweet. Lay it on me. I’m gonna go crazy if I have to read one more men of letters book.” He leaned against the counter and took a tentative sip waiting to hear one more idea that probably wouldn’t work.  
“It’s actually quite simple,” Cas began, “seeing as we have the one thing that might just be powerful enough to combat the mark,” Dean looked up, eyebrows raised expectantly, as Castiel hesitated. “Metatron’s grace.”  
Dean felt a tiny shred of hope settle in his chest. Hope he had long since forgotten and come to terms with not having. His brow furrowed as he thought of the ramifications of having Metatron’s grace and what that entailed.  
“What do you mean we have his grace? How’d you get that?” Dean sat his coffee down and crossed his arms. This might be more of an actual idea than he had first thought. But at what cost?  
Castiel struggled to find the right words as to not upset him. Dean still didn’t know about how he and Sam, with the help of Bobby, had managed to sneak Metatron out of Heaven and stole his grace as… how did he put it? Oh yes. Leverage.  
“That’s a rather long story that I can’t get into at the moment. But all you need to know is that yes, I have Metatron’s grace and it’s theoretically powerful enough to erase the mark,” he said and waited for the backlash from the older Winchester.  
Dean just stood there absorbing the words, searching him with narrowed eyes. He knew that for whatever reason Castiel was withholding information from him, it must be super fucking important. Metatron’s grace? That was a pretty huge deal. He didn’t know how Cas managed to get it, but he liked the idea of Metatron being weak and vulnerable wherever he was so he let it slide for the moment.  
To Cas’ surprise, Dean’s face changed from borderline angry and skeptical to his ‘oh well ill just accept it’ face.  
“Alright so somehow we got Metatron’s grace..,’ Dean gave Cas a pointed look and continued, “so what do we do with it?”  
“Well the idea is that I take on Metatron’s grace, and using his much more powerful grace along with what’s left of my own, plus an Enochian banishing chant should dispel the mark from your arm.” Cas could feel his face ease into somewhat of a smile. He had been worried Dean was going to press the issue of how he got it but now that that was out of the way, he felt this would go smoothly. Finally, they might be able to put an end to this horrific waking nightmare.  
“That’s it?” dean asked. How could it be that simple? How could something that has caused him so much trouble and pain and caused life shortening stress be cured with something as simple as some angel mojo and a couple words of enochian? There had to be a catch.  
“Well essentially yes.” Castiel said as he waited for Dean to put it all together.  
“Wait.” Dean hesitated.  
Here it comes. Castiel lifted his chin and squared his shoulders.  
“When you said you’d use what’s left of your mojo, what exactly does that mean? Like all of it? As in there’d be nothing left after the ritual… as in you becoming human?” Dean could feel that small sliver of hope dulling and fading away. It couldn’t mean that. That’d just be stupid. There’s no way he’d ever ask him to do that.  
Cas nodded once. His face resolute. When he had dragged out of Metatron that all it took was his powerful grace and maybe then some for good measure to cure Dean, he made up his mind in that instant that he would do it. He didn’t even have to think twice about giving up being an angel for Dean. Hell, he’d fallen for Dean in every way possible so he might as well go big or go home. If he had to sacrifice his grace for anything, he’d always wanted it to be for him. It was always him.  
Dean looked at him with a strange look of hope, confusion, surprise and fear all etched into his features. He shook his head minutely as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  
“No,” he shook his head some more. His brow pulling together more. “That’s ridiculous. You’re joking right? This is a joke.”  
Castiel looked at him confused. Head tilted to the side, mouth slightly open in that look that Dean first saw on his face the night they met in the barn those six years ago.  
“Why would I joke-” Castiel started but was interrupted.  
“Are you serious right now?” Deans asked incredulously “No. there’s no fucking way. I could never ask you to do that.”  
“I know you would never ask, Dean. That’s why I’m telling you.” Cas stated it as if it were a matter of fact. Like it’s the easiest fucking thing in the world.  
Dean stood looking at him, eyes searching Castiel’s face for any sign that he was joking, his lips agape in bewilderment. Cas just stared back. His big blue eyes as honest and telling as he’d ever seen them. He wasn’t joking. Dean couldn’t believe it. He was ready to give up everything for him. He didn’t even notice he had started to shake his head no as he was thinking how this changed everything.  
“I don’t think you understand what all you’re giving up Cas I mean come on. You won’t have access to angel radio anymore to hear what’s going on. You couldn’t just talk to other angels. You can’t just zap yourself wherever you need to go and you wouldn’t be able to heal yourself. No. There’s no way I’m letting you do this.” Dean finished resolutely, folding his arms across his chest again, feet planted firmly shoulder width apart, jaw set with an intense stare on his face. His power stance. He couldn’t let Cas do this. It was just crazy talk.  
“Oh I understand quite well what I’m doing Dean. We all make sacrifices. This is a sacrifice I’m more than willing to make for you.” Cas had figured it might go this way once Dean found out the cost. But his mind was made up and nothing Dean could say would make Cas decide otherwise.  
Dean could see Castiel’s face was resolute and there was no trace of uncertainty in his eyes. He was really was serious. He wondered if Sam knew about all of this since Sam had conveniently left on a food run right before Cas showed up.  
“Why would you do something like this? Why would you chose me over being an angel? Over your family?” he added. His voice much softer now, trying to understand why Cas would give up so much for nothing. For one lousy human. A pretty shitty one at that. Not like it was going to something like curing some cute kid of cancer or riding the world of aids, but no. He was willing to give it all for him. Why would he waste something so special on him? I mean yeah Dean would do anything to help Cas out of a bad situation but this was different. This was the man’s entire being. He was willing to change his own species classification, if you could consider an angel as a species, just to rid him of the mark. Cas was still staring at him intently, willing Dean to understand the emotion behind his decision.  
“It’s really quite simple,” Cas hesitated. Weighing the words in his mind. Choosing them carefully. “I just chose the one I can’t live without…You.”  
Dean’s stare was intense. His brow pulled together trying to process the words. His eyes were unblinking as he searched Castiel’s, trying to find a hidden meaning because those words did not mean what he thought they meant. He hadn’t meant them like they sounded. Did he? Could he?  
“ I am choosing my family Dean…I’m choosing you.” Castiel just stood watching Dean work out the meaning in his words. He could tell he was trying to find his way around it. Trying to make a joke maybe to ease his nervousness or trying to find a completely different meaning behind them. He could tell the exact moment he finally worked his way back around to the truth because his jaw slacked open bit by bit and his brow eased. The wrinkles around his eyes smoothing.  
There was no getting around this one. For a long time now, Dean knew he had feelings for Cas but he told himself that there was no way in hell, or heaven, that anything would ever happen. Anytime Cas ever said or did something that Dean thought might have been a bit emotion revealing, he’d always just told himself that it was Cas not knowing how expressing human emotions worked and that no, of course he didn’t mean it like that. Why would he have any kind of feelings for you? What have you ever done for the guy? But not this time. This time it was as plain as day. It was written all over his face and in his eyes. Dean’s breathing was slow and deliberate, trying to force his heart to slow. Of course he loved him, but he’d never stopped to think that Cas could ever love him back. Not as more than a friend. He wanted to tell him right then. He could see the look on Cas’ face and knew he was thinking the same thing. He also knew he was probably waiting on him to say something. Anything.  
“ Cas I…I” but the words stuck in Dean’s throat. He’d never said those words to anyone other than his mom and meant it. Sure he’d thrown out a couple ‘I love you too’s to one night stands just because he knew that’s what the girl of the night wanted to hear. He felt bad about it later but hey, that’s just the life. He’d never even said it to Sam because he already knew that. If you sell your soul for somebody and die (numerous times) for them, it’s just kind of an understood thing that you love ‘em. But this… this was different. This wasn’t just a slightly, okay really, codependent brotherly love. This was something he’d never felt with anyone else before and it scared the hell out of him. It scared him because if he admitted it out loud, then it became real. And if it was real, that meant that he could lose it, but Damnit, if he wasn’t in love with this angel though.  
“I…” was all that would come out. Dean grit his teeth and huffed out a sigh, half out of determination, half out of frustration. Just as he was taking a breath and shaking his head to apologize for stammering like an idiot, Castiel took a step forward and gently placed his hand on dean’s arm. Right over the handprint he left all those years ago. His other hand gently positioned at the back of Dean’s neck, his fingers gently skimming over the short hair there. Dean breathed in a small gasp at the sudden contact and closeness.  
“I know Dean. It’s okay,” He said, his right hand sliding down his arm to hold his hand. “I love you too.”  
Dean closed his eyes and breathed out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding as he eased into the feeling of Castiel’s warm hand on his neck, feeling his thumb moving in comforting circles behind his ear. He finally opened his eyes and saw the love radiating back at him from the dark blue of Cas’s eyes, a soft warm smile on his face. Dean was pretty sure in that moment that there was nothing in heaven that could beat this. If his heaven didn’t include Cas, he didn’t want it. Dean stepped closer to him until they were chest to chest and brought his hand up to side of Castiel’s cheek, his thumb moving slowly there, feeling the warmth and stubble, reveling in the fact that he could touch him with such intimacy and it be reciprocated. Cas closed his eyes and moved into the touch as dean had done and moved his hand from his neck to place it gently on Dean’s waist.  
God he’s painfully fucking beautiful, Dean thought to himself as he took in the site of Castiel so content and vulnerable in his hands. He slid his other hand gingerly around to Cas’ lower back to hold him closer. He decided he’d better kiss him now before he looked into his eyes again and got lost. Dean leaned in and used his right hand on Cas’ face to gently pull him forward until their lips finally met. Cas’ lips so soft and pliant against Dean’s. There were no fireworks. No mariachi bands. No angels singing, (pun definitely intended). It wasn’t earth shattering. It just felt like coming home. It felt like pulling into your driveway after a long ass day and walking into the house and smelling homemade pie. It felt like the first pull of a cold glass of water after being outside in the heat working under a car. It felt so normal. Like they had done this hundreds of times before. As they deepened the kiss, lips sliding against each other and tentative tongues familiarizing themselves, their arms held tighter, lips moved more frantic, and hearts beat faster. Dean finally pulled away to breathe, their foreheads touching. He smiled as Cas leaned forward to place sweet kisses down his cheek and neck, not wanting to part just yet. When Cas finally pulled back, Dean let out a small laugh as he took in the beautiful sight of his angel. His hair was slightly more unkempt, cheeks were flushed, and his lips considerably redder than last he has seen them.  
“What?” Cas said as he smiled and wrapped his arms around dean, shifting his weight to clasp his hands together behind Dean’s back.  
“Oh nothing.” Dean said with a slight smirk. He couldn’t believe that minutes ago, he was pouring over books, words blurring as he tried to take in the words on the page, trying to ignore the dull throbbing from the mark, which was now all but silent. And here he was now, worlds away in the same kitchen, now leaning against the same counter with Cas in his arms, more content than he had been in… well ever. He knew they still had a long, arduous road ahead, dealing with whatever came next but he knew know that he’d be okay. That they would be okay. And that’s more than he’d been able to think to himself in a long time.  
“It’s just that I uh… I love you.” Just like that, the words slipped out of his lips. Dean had barely been able to think the words to himself not five minutes ago, but saying them just now felt like saying the grass was green, or the sky was blue. Something that just was. Cas smiled and leaned in to kiss him once more. This time there was something so soft and regal about it that it sent a shiver down Dean’s spine and made the hair on his arms stand on end. After they parted, Cas laid his head into the crook of Dean’s neck and hugged him like he was trying to hug into him all the feelings he’s harbored over the past few years.  
“I know,” Cas mumbled into his shoulder, “and it’s about damn time you figured it out Winchester.”


End file.
